Surviving Inescapable Systems

On Inescapable Systems

Not a day passes within my therapeutic work, where I am not talking about systems as they collide with my clients. Whether it be, maneuvering, assessing the damage of, or trying to make meaning despite—systems are almost always at play in our lives.

Systems like… capitalism, colonialism, racism, colorism, texturism, mysogynoir, classism, chattel slavery, sexism, and, and, and..

As a Black therapist with Black clients it would be remiss of me to not honor how at any given point in time my clients may be dealing with the force of each and every one of these systems (all at once). The feeling of being crushed under the weight of inescapable systems can cue feelings such as panic, disorientation, nervous system dysregulation, anxiety, hopelessness, and dissassociation

because, whats the point?

You beloved, are the point. Scaling and demolishing these above systems may never be apart of our lifetimes no matter how hard we try. So what is one to do?

Lets chat survival despite and/or in-spite:

1. Lean into ancestral wisdom

   When I feel the weight and overwhelm of witnessing my clients and my own self trying to scrape by and survive these inescapable systems I lean into the cellular wisdom that pulses through my veins. There is great power in our histories, even when steeped and dripping with pain and generational trauma. I, a clinician, and a descendent of enslaved folks, carry the trauma but also the ingenuity of spinning magic and humanity in the harshest of internal landscapes within me, always and in all ways. Because my ancestors survived/lived/loved/experienced pockets of joy and humanity… I am here. Pain was never the complete story. They were multidimensional and so am I. I wonder what it would be like to rest in this truth with radical intention?

2. Honoring our Soul

   What is one thing you can do, to bring your soul surviving, maneuvering, out-witting, scraping by these systems....... a small glimmer, sprinkle, pocket, and deep long breath of joy? These glimmers of joy (for me) often look like:

   • showing up to that pottery class

   • eating my lunch in the park

   • taking the nap

   • being seen trying to survive a pilates or barre class 

   • calling a loved one 

   • making those good ass NYT chocolate chip cookies and enjoying every single bite

   • lingering longer

   • savoring conversation with my partner with deeper intention

when life is centered on the crushing weight of systems we cannot scale and that becomes the center of our existence...natural feelings of internal paralysis and overwhelm ensure.

As Black folks, what would it truly mean to honor the duality of our unique existence?  

while I am being crushed, can I look at some flowers, feel some tiny moments of joy, feel the warmth of love? Its in our bones to find the pockets of life, desire, joy, warmth, and and... 

What are the ways you can (even in the tiniest of ways) honor your souls humanity today? find and explore a glimmer of joy? explore your unique contours + dimensions in a new way?

Texts that I love to revisit:

1. In the Wake of Blackness and Being (Christina Sharpe)

2. Demonic Grounds: Black Women and the Cartographies of Struggle (Katherine McKittrick)

3. belonging: a culture of place (bell hooks)

Want to explore some of this deeper and figure out your own unique pathways to humanity? Let’s set up a time to chat to see if we would be a good therapeutic fit. I am currently accepting new clients in both Illinois and New York!

With so much love and light,

C